When we make the decision to share our lives with a four legged companion, whether it be new beginnings with a puppy or sharing life with a dog from a rescued situation, we all imagine how life will be with our new companion.
The walks we’ll share in parks and woodland, the places we’ll visit like pubs, cafes, friends and family homes, the dog friends our dogs will have and all the lovely friendships we could develop as a result of meeting dog friendly humans. We may go to Training Classes, do Scent work, Hoopers or Agility, go to Dog Shows, Day Care, the list of activities is endless.
We all have these wonderful fantasies about how our life will pan out with a four legged friends and for many this is a reality.
BUT
What if the dog we share our life with cannot cope emotionally with our expectations of them or situations we expect them to be happy about.
What if they are filled with anxiety and show signs of being uncomfortable in these situations or they react in a way that dogs and humans find unacceptable? Should we still expect them to cope and make them do those things because it’s what we imagined?
What if they find the pressure of meeting new dogs too scary?
What if they find human touch aversive?
What if they find a busy cafe too noisy?
What if they find large groups of dogs overwhelming?
Should we expect them to cope without us realising they need help?
Life with my own dog has been very different to the life I expected, there are certain things that are just too much for him and he can be 'reactive'. I soon realised, after seeking professional help it was apparent that things had to change.
I couldn't expect him to be comfortable with all the things I had hoped for, and honestly for a time I did grieve for the life I had hoped for, but this wasn't our reality.
Our reality was he had to feel safe, be safe and not be overwhelmed.
So what did we do?
We sought professional advice where we applied some behavioural modification to help Ted start to feel safe, increase his confidence and keep him safe. All of his rehab training has been done with kindness using techniques to change his emotions around the things that worry him. I was NEVER asked to use anything aversive such as prong or shock collars and I NEVER would.
We found open spaces for our walks where I can see all around me, I make it obvious I don't want to interact if we see a dog in the distance, by moving the other way. I play games to get focus on me if a dog were to walk past us. I use secure fields, visit family gardens, go to places where dogs have to be kept on lead.
Ted wears a yellow lead sleeve that says 'I'm Anxious' this does help to keep some people away and dog savvy humans who understand what this means.
Head on greetings are challenging for him so when we are on lead walking I make sure any meetings are in open spaces and if we are pavement walking we zig-zag across roads, I make it a game and he gets a treat for an 'amazing crossing' he often makes the choice himself to cross if something is coming towards us or can be quite cheeky and just zig-zag to get himself an extra snack, I don't mind it's all practicing the game for real life situations.
I did fun workshops or 1-1 training sessions with him, these can be more expensive, but you get quality time with someone who understands your dogs needs.
I do Scent work with him which really helps on days when we don’t want to pressure the need for walk if we just don’t feel like it, he's not a fan of the rain either so this is really useful for wintery days.
He does have dog friends-quite a few actually, but meeting new dogs has to be managed and done at his pace often beginning with scent cloths of new dogs paired with something yummy.
We do on lead sniffy walks with dog friends, this is great social contact without causing too much arousal or pressure to play.
We name all of the humans in his life, he loves aunties, uncles and grandad visiting, the people in his circle are really important as they give him reassurance that humans are good and will often sit with him if needed.
I don't force him to walk or go to places that he clearly isn't comfortable with. I let him process information and give him time to make decisions. If he doesn't want to walk down a certain pathway we don't. Our walks are his so we let him have choice. I don't drag him anywhere, quite the opposite actually.
Our life together is really no lesser or more than any other dog and their human, we have navigated life to suit his needs which is what is so important.
I was sadly told at 18 months (by a non qualified individual) that I should consider PTS I hasten to add he has NEVER bitten a dog or human, but this is what was recommend. He now actually helps some dogs with their training by stooging where I work (proud moment) and will be 9 this year. So it shows we can turn things around.
The reality is dogs aren’t with us forever so we should consider their needs and adapt, I’d hate to think I’d spent Ted’s life with him being stressed doing things that he can’t cope with and that don’t make him happy, just because it was what I wanted.
Sometimes we need to change our great expectations.
Comments